Written by Bertram Chapley
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Topics: Tokyo, Pilot

Friday, 15 April 2005

image for Citizens of Nagasaki to be Compensated for Error
Missed - Oh Ek!

TOKYO - The citizens of Nagasaki are to be compensated because of an error committed sixty years ago. The pilot of the B29 Superfortress confessed to his neighbour that he was meant to drop the second Atomic bomb on Kyoto and not Nagasaki but a slip up in the cockpit allowed a premature release of the weapon.

The incident on 9th August 1945 had been covered up until last week when Bob Thurston's neighbour went and shopped him.

We rang Bob at his home in Maine and he explained what happened.

"We were about 15 minutes away from the target when I thought I would grab a last cup of coffee from my flask. We were on autopilot at the time so I topped up my cup but before I could put the flask down we hit some turbulence. I dropped the cup of hot steaming coffee straight onto my lap."

"I stood bolt upright and my arm caught the bomb door lever. I put the flask down onto the dashboard and unfortunately put it directly onto the bomb release button and away she went."

Bob continued "I thought Oh Shit and just high tailed it outathere. I got a right roasting when I got back to base but not half as good as the one those poor people in Nagasaki got!"

The revelation prompted a series of protests in the Japanese city and demands for an inquiry to the events. The US government have offered $30 to any person who can provide photographic evidence that they were in the city on the day of the incident.
So far over 2000 people have applied but most have been hoaxers.

The incident nearly mirrors the admission from Tokyo that Pearl Harbour was in fact a training mission that went wrong and rather than admit this they thought it best to make out is was an act of aggression just to save face.

Also as a gesture the USAF have offered to bomb the original target as to redress the balance but the mayor of Kyoto has protested unless it is done when he and his family are on holiday which is the first week in July. Watch this space !!!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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