Written by shea lo
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Saturday, 24 July 2010

image for Still no sign of Paul the Octopus.  Fears that mystical mollusk may have ended up a much-marinated mouthful on many metropolitan menus surface with Palin's tweet of "Tea-Party Tentacle Pizza"

Oh where oh where has psychic Paul gone? Oh where oh where can he be? Since his plucky escape two days ago there has been no sign of Paul the Psychic Octopus. Now rumors abound that the mystical mollusk may have ended up as a marinated mouthful on many metropolitan menus.

From garlic Paul tapas; tandoori Paul, Cajun gumbo Paul; Szechuan spicy Paul, Pasta con Paolo to Paul-in-a-hole, it appears that Paul has indeed gone global.

Captain Ahab of PPP (Pro Paul Protesters) - the opportunistic urban-activist-eco-terrorist support organization (aka The Great Unwashed) issued the following manifesto:

"It has been brought to our attention that a cabal of global conglomerates has had a nefarious hand in the kidnapping of People's Paul. Germany has cut a stimulating deal with the EU, China and the Obama Administration for a piece of the economic octo-pi.

If Paul has been dissected, marinated, grilled, broiled, sauteed, curried and digested there will be a heavy price to be paid by all these nations. We will unleash our armies to free Paul from the pickle pot. This is our sacred oath".

A spokesperson for Angela Merkel re-iterated: "Ve hef said ve hef abzoolootly no idea vere zis fish is und ve schtick by our o-fish-ial position".

For its part a well-known pizza chain is promoting its major summer gustatory creation: The All American Tea-Party Tentacle Pizza - made from "the biggest fish (sic) caught by Sarah Palin" - which includes "100 percent all Paul-parts on an pure lard pastry crust; 15 (!!!) different types of processed American cheese, canned whipped cream with chocolate sprinkles and topped with a pound of triple sugary batter-fried Paul-tentacle rings".

Obese American diners gave this pizza a resounding three thumbs up.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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