Written by Morse
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Thursday, 22 July 2010

image for 'Overheated' Al Gore Accused in 2 More Kinky Episodes Claims Unintended Consequences as Penis 'keeps rising!"
More Massage Therapists Now Say Gore Loved His Hot Rocks Massaged!

According to the latest scuttlebutt concerning the unravelling Global Warming Scam put out by Al "Mr. Green" Gore, the world's oceans aren't the only natural phenomena that keep rising. New reports surfacing cite Al's problem with a rampantly rising penis are now threatening to swamp his reputation with a Tsunami of sexual harassment suits.

Two more Massage Therapists have come out of the closet to detail a recurring theme when they were called upon by "Mr. Wonderful" to 'relieve some tension' incurred by the Global Warming Guru while on vacation away from wife "Tipper."

One incident allegedly incurred in Japan, and another in Beverly Hills, both times when Gore summoned a licensed 'muscle relaxer' to his high priced suite and without pretext ordered the professionals to provide some relief to his stiffening 'divining rod' which he uses to locate hidden hordes of untapped financial schemes involving bogus natural disasters for personal gain.

The claims are strangely reminiscent of the bombshell recorded testimony of a west cost massage therapist who claims she was man handled, tongue kissed, and threatened with everlasting 'night sweats' if she didn't cater to some strange sexual demands by the bloated, sweating Gore waiting nude for her in his hotel suite.

Except for denying that he ever tied a yellow ribbon around his penis, Gore and his spokesmen have been strangely silent concerning the claims, although Tipper quietly filed for divorce and the couple moved to place their multi million dollar estate inside the legal protection of several trusts shortly before the first allegation surfaced.

Seeming to support Gore's strange behaviour, is a well known female news presenter who claims that at a past function when she offered her cheek for Gore to kiss, he grabbed her around the neck, forced her mouth open, and stuck his now famous tongue down her throat, an action which she later called 'surprising' and Gore when confronted said was "inadvertent, misunderstood, and blown out of all proportion."

Gore, who has been heard complaining to close aides that "Bill Clinton gets more ass then my toilet seat," may be a victim of "late blooming male menopause" according to Dr. Ruth, as well as Rachel Uchitel, Tiger Woods'
Sex Therapist.

"Since he's become a the Liberal's darling, almost won the presidency, become a multi-billionaire, woman have been throwing themselves at him despite him becoming more bloated every day with his self importance," said one Hollywood insider.

Since his close involvement with Follywood, Al just bought a not so environmentally friendly mansion on the California coast, swelling has apparently become a problem for both his big and little head.

The latest rumour circulates around Oliver Stone, fresh off his docu-drama suck up of Hugo Chavez, where it is said he may do another promotional film as Gore gets set for a Presidential run for 2012, tentatively titled "The Amazing Sex Life of Al Gore; The Dildo All Women Grow to Love."

A slim and tanned George Hamilton is said to top the list to play Gore.

According to a spokesman for Stone, Gore's past failure in politics was that men and women considered him asexual, a detriment for political success, especially in the Democratic Party, where Sex, any Sex, committed anywhere, on anyone, with anything, was a tremendous asset.

The ACLU is said to have refused to take on any of the women's allegedly victimized, while Gore is said to be putting in place a 'dream team' of over 50 lawyers to defend him should any more allegations emerge concerning
either his actions, or that of his Penis, which certainly seems to have a mind of its own.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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