Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 21 July 2010

image for Parasailing Donkey Had Something Stuck Up Its Arse
Not best pleased: the donkey later

Police in southern Russia are investigating allegations of animal cruelty after a donkey was made to parasail with something stuck up its arse, Russian media report.

The donkey was sent up into the sky last week by entrepreneurs hoping to attract people to their private beach, but eyewitnesses were shocked at seeing its flimsy little legs kicking furiously in a pathetic attempt to escape.

Witnesses near the beach on the Sea of Azov in the Krasnodar region said the animal had been screaming in fear, but this could have been laughter.

The laughing beast landed in the water and was pulled onto the shore by onlookers, who removed something from its posterior, said police.

"The donkey screamed (or laughed) and the children cried," regional police spokeswoman Larisa Tuchkova told the AFP news agency. "No-one had the brains to call us until much later, by which time, there was nothing at all to be found in its arse."

Instead, bystanders leisurely took photographs and phoned newspapers, said Tuchkova. One man played a vuvuzela which had mysteriously appeared as if from nowhere.

"It was put up so high into the sky that the children on the beach cried and asked their parents: 'Why did they tie a doggy to a parachute with that trumpet up it arse?'" Taman newspaper reported last week.

"The donkey landed in an atrocious manner: it had obviously had no landing training. It was dragged several metres along the water, after which the animal was pulled out half-alive onto the shore, braying like a donkey," said the paper.

Police began to investigate afterwards, and say that the businessmen responsible may face criminal charges for animal cruelty, if it's proven that a vuvuzela was inserted into its bottom.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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