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Thursday, 1 July 2010

image for Heart Attack Rates Up In England, U.S.

For some reason, the World Health Organization has checked and rechecked their numbers and they have concluded that England has the highest percentage of heart attack victims in the world with the United States coming in a close second.

"So far we haven't identified why the sudden jump in England but it seems that the whole island is stressed out", stated Dr Jinh Singh, who was a part of the study. "While we realized that the rate was higher in developed countries, there has still been a sudden rise."

Most people who commented on the new findings blamed the recent elections there, along with the stress of new laws to fine the average person for everything from farting to finding a maggot in the wrong trash bin. Plus having to deal with so many gangs on the loose.

Other reasons seem to be sports. This would include fights, upset fans, losing on the horses.

"Also anger at the government and the average diet having so much fat and the lack of exercise has jumped the numbers up", states Singh.

Finally there are all the arguments on TheSpoof over the past year and a half, which affects both of these countries.

As far as the United States goes, it has all the above but maybe to a lessor degree.

One surprising fact that was found was that the state with the highest average of heart attacks per person was Wyoming!

"Most expected it to be Florida with the oil spill, the South with their eating habits or New York with the stressed city dwellers." However, when we checked the recent figures closely", stated Singh, "We discovered that these stats were taken AFTER Dick Cheney had moved back from Washington DC, which had been the leader for the previous eight years."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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