Written by Zako Strle
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Topics: Oil Spill

Thursday, 24 June 2010

image for BP Deploys Socks to Soak Up Gulf Oil Spill
Sock Puppets Will Be Deployed to Soak Up the Spill

BP chief executive Tony Hayward announced the oil company's latest effort to clean up the Gulf oil spill - socks!

"It's very simple really, socks float and soak up anything liquidy, so if we dump enough of them in the Gulf, we can soak up all the oil and even create a floating sock island that might even revitalize Gulf tourism," announced Hayward in a London press conference.

"Everybody's got extra socks that don't match just sitting around, so I urge anyone learning of this announcement to send BP their extra socks, especially those big tube socks with the stripes at the top that were so popular in 1970s," continued Hayward.

Hayward said he got the idea when he spilled Dom Perignon on the pool table of his yacht while attempting to "get his life back" during vacation in the crystal clear water of the Mediterranean and used a sock to soak up the Champaign.

"I haven't done laundry in years since I have people to do that for me, but I'm sure there are lots of poor blokes out there who are frustrated with always finding another sock without a match and it's about time we put those wayward socks to good use."

Hayward added that BP would even accept argyle socks, sock puppets and dirty socks with holes in them and concluded by revealing BP's newest advertising campaign touting that BP is conducting the biggest oil clean up in history with your socks with a campaign slogan of "Sock it to you!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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