Written by Charpa93
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Thursday, 17 June 2010

image for Vuvuzela Buzzing Now Being Studied as Effective Contraceptive
Vuvuzelas May Replace These as Effective Contraceptives

Soccer fans in South Africa aren't the only ones complaining about the constant buzzing of the vuvuzelas during the World Cup. Local South African farmers are surprised at the results the buzzing is having on their livestock.

The noise is having a detrimental effect on goats and chickens especially. "Our goats will not produce milk and our chickens are producing maybe only one or two eggs a day at most," claims one farmer who depends on his livestock not only to bring the goods to market, but also to feed his impoverished family.

These results have caught the attention of medical research doctors in the region who have been trying for decades to bring the African population numbers under control. "While it is still too early to make a firm statement that the constant buzzing sound of several hundred vuvuzelas can and does lead to disruption of the reproductive process in humans and animals, more research will have to be done to get to the truth of the matter," said one scientist.

Dozens of couples have been gathered at a research facility in Nairobi whereby they will have intercourse while vuvuzela noise is piped into their individual bedrooms. The couples will then be followed closely for the next few weeks to see if, indeed, any of the females are able to conceive a child under the brutal conditions.

If the local livestock being penned near the various stadiums is any indication, there will be fewer babies born to African couples this year and because of that, the vuvuzela may just redeem itself as being one of the most useful inventions of modern times, far surpassing the effectiveness of any other contraceptive method.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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