Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 22 May 2010

image for Forget New York - Vancouver BC Is The City That Never Sleeps
Canada - Home Of The Grizzly

Ol' Blue Eyes once sang that he wanted to wake up in a city that doesn't sleep, which was all well and good back in the day, but if he was to wake up in New York City nowadays he'd be pretty disappointed.

Because New York is no longer the epicentre of the known universe.

That distinction currently belongs to Vancouver, British Columbia, the British colonial outpost which hosted the 2010 winter olympics.

It seems that these days the good citizens of Vancouver stay up at all hours of the day and night, engaging in a variety of different activities, encompassing everything from internet forums to dressing up as nuns and going out drinking.

These days, some people in Vancouver simply don't bother going to bed at all, at least not to sleep. The Mayor of faded British seaside resort, Frigghall On Sea, Sully Birdkrapp frequently visits his brother in law, George, in the city and is constantly amazed by the lifestyle differences between the Canadians and their UK counterparts.

"The citizens of Vancouver are really lovely people," he told us. "But they don't believe in sleeping. They go out and dine in fine restaurants, or drink in bars, or they stay indoors watching cable TV and surfing the net. Anything but sleep."

We managed to contact shea lo, a writer for satirical website TheSpoof.com who told us:

"What we do here in Vancouver is really none of your business. Please stop stalking me, or I shall take out a restraining order."

We also found that sleep deprivation tends to make people a little irritable.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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