Written by Amethyst Ryder
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Topics: Gay, Malawi

Friday, 21 May 2010

image for Malawi bans birth of gay people within its borders
Malawi families: a rainbow-free zone.

In the wake of a Malawian gay couple's recent sentencing to 14 years of hard labor, the president of Malawi has signed into law a ban on gay people choosing to be born in that country.

"Homosexuality is against our culture as well as our constitution," said Betsy Chirambo, adviser to President Bingu wa Mutharika. "If a man must be so indecently unnatural as to be sexually attracted to another man, in our view he has a moral obligation to avoid being born into our culture and under the rule of our constitution."

Human rights advocates protested the new legislation.

"This is an outrage," stated Kuliraga Mesi, director of the Malawi branch of Humanity International. "How can you ban someone for the way they are born?"

Biologist Azibo Bomani concurred. "Those of us living in the twenty-first century recognize reputable scientific research which shows that sexual orientation is 'hard-wired' into the brain. You can no more blame someone for being homosexual than you can for, say, being left-handed, or for being better at math than at music, or vice-versa."

"Homosexuality is a choice," argued Elmer Elmtree, senior evangelist at First Holy Hallelujah Congregation in Blantyre.

"How in the world is a newborn baby supposed to know what its sexual orientation will be, let alone arrange the circumstances of its birth?" retorted Unitarian minister Chotsani Tidyanawo.

"The law is the law," declared American pundit Lush Dimball. "Homosexuality is illegal in Malawi. Obey the law or go to jail. End of story."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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