Written by Frank Insense
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Topics: Pope, Bible

Friday, 9 April 2010

image for Pope Denounces Archeological Find
Two fat ladies, twenty two. Dinner for two, sixty-nine. And don't mention shagging kids!

His devine holiness the Pope has denounced the latest archeological find from the Middle East.

Archeologists were on a dig in Jerusalem when they came across something of global importance.

Professor Ziegul Schidt of the Pidgeon Institute in Frankfart explains "Ve vere diggink in ze sant unt zere hat been nottink unushual, just ze standart bitz of pottery, burial grounts unt schit howses. My colleage Professor Ivana Titvank from ze Nipple InsTITute in Brest came runnink up to me viss a piece of scroll. It vas written in ancient Hebrew and vos very faded. Ve took it back my tent to stuty unt to translate and it vos amazink! Neizer off us coult believe our eyes ass ze vords began to fall into place!"

Prf Titvank continued "Please excuse my friend Professor Schidt, his German is rather poor. Yes, the translation could have far reaching implications for the whole world of Christianity. So far we have only managed to translate the first three lines as the scroll is in a very fragile state and is very faded. The lines read....

This book is dedicated to my darling wife Hilda.

All characters portrayed in this book are entirely ficticious.

Apart from Pontius Pilate.

Fuck me we were shocked when we translated this! If it's true then it's been a fuckin good story! We've sent the scroll back to Brest for a full translation and carbon dating and all that stuff but we won't know for a few days yet. The only other words we managed to make out were goat, pineapple and shaving foam That did arouse a little surprise!"

The Pope has poured ridicule on the 'find' and denounced it as a hoax.

He has however issued the following statement; "I would like to thank Proffesor Ziegul and Professor Titvank for taking some of the heat off me ignoring priests shagging kids. With a bit of luck maybe that one will blow over as well"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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