Written by Skoob1999
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Wednesday, 7 April 2010

image for Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart Cheer From The Stands As Messi Puts Four Past Arsenal
The Nou Camp - Messi, Very Messi.

It remains unclear how it happened, but what we do know is that Twilight sweethearts Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were cheering from the stands last night as Lionel Messi put four goals past Arsenal.

A young woman seated close to the glamorous Hollywood couple stated that she'd overheard Kristen Stewart mention that she was sorry that they'd been unable to see Floquet De Nou, the albino gorilla, at the city's zoo, because he'd died some time previously. The woman stated that Pattinson and Stewart looked a little disorientated, sitting in the cavernous Nou Camp stadium.

One theory is, that having found themselves in Barcelona, Pattinson - a Londoner - persuaded Miss Stewart to accompany him to the match, so that she could soak up the big game atmosphere.

And what a game it was!

Arsenal soon drew confidence from an early goal, but the Catalan giants quickly stamped their authority on the game with a Lionel Messi hat-trick before half time. Messi added an incredible fourth goal in the second half, leaving Almunia the Arsenal goalkeeper looking like he wasn't sure if his arsehole was bored, punched, or rivetted.

After the game, Pattinson and Stewart took the Metro back into town. They got off at Liceu station in the heart of the Ramblas and popped into the Cafe De L'Opera for coffee and a slice of lemon tart.

Stewart asked Pattinson what the heck they were doing in Barcelona anyway? Pattinson could only shrug his shoulders and say that it was probably some vampire thing. Stewart then said:

"Fucking cracking game though. Messi's runs were unstoppable. You know Rob, Barca wiped the floor with Arsenal tonight. In your FACES Gooners!"

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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