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Thursday, 11 March 2010

image for Spoof Saga Blamed for UK Teacher's Infatuation & Seduction of  16 year Old 'Pirate' Student
HMS Victory was Location for a Host of Pirate Shagging by Teacher and Pupil!

A 39 year old married Administrator of a UK school has been charged with the seduction and the carrying on of a 10 month affair with a 16 year old student in her charge characterized as her 'gorgeous Pirate.'

The woman, who can not be named in order to protect her identity under EU Council of Minister protection of Pedophiles Administrative Order, apparently became engrossed in the now infamous Swash Buggering Adventures of a randy bunch of Spoofers who created the wildly successful "Below Decks" saga featured in the site's magazine section.

Later picked up by HBO in a 25 part series, consolidated and edited into a popular Reader's Digest feature, and later made into a popular Hollywood Movie by Quentin Tarantino and starring a long list of Hollywood stars including DeNiro, Steve Martin, Pacino, Nicholson and Ashley Cole, but not Sean Penn, the series characterized as a 'sleeper' by Spoof Editor Mark Lowton where no one read it, turned out to be a block buster after it was released in other venues and enabled many of the contributors, but not all, to take early retirement.

A defender of the defendant, known as a Ballsy Barrister, said she had spent every waking hour re reading chapters of "Below Decks' and soon began to even identify with one of the main female characters, Madam Piebottom, later depicted on the screen by a now still lush, but pendulous Susan Sarandan.

She later became fixated on young midshipman 'Earl Grey', and transferred that attention to a real pupil who was said to have a learning disability, and "special needs" just as the fictional character suffered.

In love letters discovered after the affair was revealed, the teacher refers to her young swashbuckling lover as " My gorgeous Pirate," and signs off many of her pulsating missives with " yo, ho, ho, my Sea Faring Sweetie!"

According to the actual Captain's log taken from the Spoof disciplinary hearing, the original line recorded was , "Ho, Ho, Ho, You Sea Going Fairy, I've Got You Now!"

A spokesman for the crew of Below Decks, said the sex starved woman lifted entire bits of dialogue from chapters of the serial, and never gave attribution
to any of the several dozen writers who penned the prose.

Adding to the mystique was the fact the dashing duo were said to have had erotic trysts below decks of the HMS Victory in Portsmouth, where receipts show they had visited over 127 times in a three month period.

The young man, when interviewed by child investigators said the two had sex in Lord Nelson's ward room, in the ammunition lockers, in an ordinary seaman's hanging hammock, in the bilge, and onst after hours, he had her over 'a long gun' on the second deck, where he was quoted as saying, " I really and rightly touched her off on that one...it was quite a big bang!"

Additional revelations discuss Captain's Mast where the woman wanted to be tied naked to the rat lines and spanked with a cat of nine tails, and even later had her keel hauled while bent over a swivel gun.

The 'victim' said he went along with the play acting as it seemed to fulfill some of his 'special needs', but after having his mentor read Below Decks to him every night before bed, he finally agreed, the sex was nice, 'but all I ever wanted to be was Skoob, the Cook!"

He said he was fascinated with Skoob who's job it was to dish out shit to everyone else and got to chop up and serve Leg Of Leed's at least twice a week with fresh meat from the orlop after a fiery pirate engagement.

Inside reports have indicated that the young man's original name before being put under special protection was either 'Jon Venable' or 'Robbie Thompson', and whoever it is still maintains, "whatever I do, I continue to be Royally FUCKED!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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