Written by Wumf
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Topics: Hippies

Wednesday, 3 March 2010

image for Last Hippie laid to rest
Love child performs rites for last hippie

Bagpipes blaring, a large procession of Generation XYers walked slowly up Market towards Haight St. in San Francisco yesterday.

The solemn procession was led by a modern day Lady Godiva, naked, with flowers in her hair, riding a white steed.

As they approached the intersection of Haight/Ashbury, S.F. police officers who had been lining the road and waiting for hours unsheathed their nightsticks and held them aloft in a salute to the glory days of the 1960's when young people freely danced and gathered in the streets and officers were free to beat them as they chose.

The mourners bore a box made from remnants of the Grateful Dead's redwood hot tub, scented with Patchouli oil.

It contained the ashes of The Last Hippie, Gerard Smith, known for 45 years as Funkonaut Veganzephyr, oracle of Santa Cruz.

Upon reaching the specially prepared Cenotaph (built of stone gathered at the Esalen Institute) on the heights of Haight, silence fell over everyone.

The eulogy was spoken by the Rev. Amos Moses, preacher of good tidings from the South.

The people were hushed, the words came forth: "You-nes, me-nes, us-nes, we-nes." A love, hug circle, was performed afterwards.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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