Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Earthquake, Haiti, chile

Wednesday, 3 March 2010

image for Chile Earthquake "Wasn't As Good As Ours", Claim Haitians
A pile of bricks this morning

As cleaning up continued in Chile this morning after the weekend's earthquake, people in Haiti spoke out to tell the world that their quake was "much better" than the one in Chile.

Sunday's quake, a massive 8.8 on the Richter Scale, demolished only 90% of the historic centre of Concepcion, whereas virtually everything was destroyed in Port-au-Prince by the 7.0 quake on January 12th.

This just shows it doesn't matter how big your quake is, it's what you do with it.

The Haiti earthquake is known to have killed between 217,000 and 230,000 people whereas the one in Chile at the weekend has, so far, killed only 795.

Haitians also note that world-renowned musicians like Robbie Williams, Cheryl Cole and Leona Lewis clubbed together to record a charity song for survivors in Haiti, whereas no tacky single has been cobbled together for Chile. This, they say, is further evidence that their earthquake was 'better'.

The figures speak for themselves, and despite the two countries' squabbling, it appears that the January earthquake was, indeed, of better quality than the Chile quake, although seismologists say that the Haitians shouldn't get too carried away just yet. Ernst Rubble, an earthquake specialist at Sasquatch University in Washington, said:

"We are only in March. There's plenty more time for more quakes this year. This is an exciting time to be an earthquake fan!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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