Tehran, Iran-- The Islamic Revolutionary Government of Iran certainly plans to live up to its pledge to 'stun the West' on February 11th. Iran is to announce first contact with an extraterrestrial species--the Romulans. Iranian President Mahmoud Iamadinnerjacket said Iran is to be "the sole country on the planet to assist in the assimilation of Earth into the glories of the Romulan Empire."
The Iranians never had any intentions of building a nuclear bomb. Their only goal was to contact an extraterrestrial species and ask for their help in conquering Iran's enemies. No one in the world community had any idea this was happening. First Contact was made by subspace communications with the Romulan Empire two weeks ago.
"The Iranians were playing chess while the West was playing checkers." said Secretary of State Hillary Clinton in a grim voice. "We lost. Resistance is futile." she declared. Ms. Clinton is heading the Obama Administration's complete surrender to the Romulans.
Ambassador U'Rfucked from Romulus, smiled into the cameras, as he addressed a press conference in Tehran with his new friend Mahmoud Iamadinnerjacket.
"We welcome our new friends, the Iranians from Earth." said Ambassador U'Rfucked. "Over the next few days we will show how we deal with our friends--and how we deal with our enemies." he said darkly.
For the last two weeks a giant Weather Machine has been pointed at the United States East Coast from an orbiting Romulan Warbird. The Weather machine has created an immense blizzard to strike the East Coast, the second blizzard within five days. Such a weather event has not happened on the East Coast in the last 10,000 years.
"To our enemies, think snow." said Ambassador U'Rfucked. "Think of lots, and lots and lots of snow."
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