Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 8 February 2010

image for Taliban Stronghold Targeted For US/British Assault - But Will They Still Be There?
Come Out Come Out Wherever You Are!

As British and US forces prepare to attack the Taliban stronghold of Marjah, in the biggest coordinated ground assault yet seen in the country, involving 14,000 troops, including Special Forces assassination squads tasked with bumping off leading Taliban activists, questions have been raised back home.

As Afghan civilians, unconnected with the Taliban flee the war zone to escape the fallout from the onslaught, certain Western observers have been questioning the wisdom of the operation.

Military historian, Michael Clothcap told us:

"I can understand the allies wanting to get in there and sort out the bad guys, but what I don't understand is why we've told the Taliban what we're going to do in advance. All they need is a satellite dish and it's all over the news channels. It just gives the enemy the heads up and a chance to get out of there if they decide not to fight."

"The issue here isn't about inflicting casualties on the enemy," Major Francois DuBois Retd explained. "It's about scattering the enemy, and territorial superiority. It's more of a psychological assault than a physical one. It's all about who's in charge. That's why we let 'em get away. They're more use to us shitting rocks and spreading the news to their buddies about what bad-asses we are, than they are as martyrs."

"But what if they do make a stand?" Clothcap challenged. "Like Michael Caine in Zulu?"

"They won't," DuBois said emphatically.

"I still think it's naive of our armed forces to announce their intentions on live TV - before the event..."

"Shut up," DuBois ordered.

At which point Clothcap stopped talking and DuBois lit a cigarette in contemptuous defiance of the smoking ban.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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