(Defecated News) In what can only be described as 'shocking', serial hacker and spastic Gary McKinnon was apprehended by British special forces last night and, (as any bitch would do), Gordon Brown handed him over to Uncle Sam.
For months, the future of the hacker, (who very conveniently was only 'diagnosed' with a form of autism after he was arrested) looked uncertain. US officials won their battle for extradition, and it seemed very likely he would be sent over the Guantanamo Bay, dressed in orange and beaten to a pulp on Pay-Per-View.
But last night, while McKinnon was washing his testicles in the bath, he was kidnapped by members of Gordon Brown's Scottish highland dancing gang, and handed over to the US government.
"We were called by Gordon yesterday and asked to take McKinnon out asap", explained Phil McHunt, head of the organisation that caught the 'geek freak'.
"We entered his house through a window left open in his bedroom, and myself and thirteen other dancers, (all dressed in pink kilts) heard a rhythmic splashing from the bathroom. We suspected that he was going to use and explosive, so after kicking the door down, and catching him scrubbing his nads, we tazered him and bundled him into the back of our van, then off on the first flight to Guantanamo."
The trial starts next week, and you can watch it online on PPV - a snip at £19.99, or book it early and pay only £9.99.