Written by Rodd Justice
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Friday, 5 April 2002

President George 'Bush' Dubya welcomed British Prime Minister Tony Blair to his ranch in Texas today, promising him the best sleep-over ever. George has a whole load of "neat" things to do, including staying up all night playing on his new Xbox.

Plans for military action in Iraq mean that there will be a lot of playing on the so-called shoot 'em up games, in preparation for Saddam v Bush II. This is new territory for the President, who is more used to playing baseball games and 'Mario Kart'. In fact, he is so excited about the prospect, he went down to Toys 'R' Us, and bought two Xbox-guns with 'G.B.' and 'A.B.' written on them. It is believed he used his Geoffrey the Giraffe loyalty points to purchase them.

Arriving in his mourning suit, Blair is said to have been wearing his Arab costume underneath so that the two can play army in the Ghost Bushes "at the earliest possible moment".

The threat of chemical warfare agents, such as Sarin and Anthrax, is a real danger if war in Iraq materialises. To prepare for this, the boys are going to chew "Amazing Power Bomb" sweets, which go really bitter and fizzy in the mouth, in a manner similar to that of Sarin. Dubya finds the sensation hilariously stimulating, and can't wait for the real chemical warfare to begin.

"I can't wait to get my teeth around some of them Sarins," said Dubya earlier.

Top of the agenda, though, is the Israel-Palestine crisis. Bush 'n' Blair are expected to spend at least one hour debating whether it is 'Middle-East' or 'Mid-East', followed by a further two hours getting Dubya acquainted with a map of the world. Then they will build Lego tanks and simulate making dead foreigners.

To date, the colour of the Presidential sleeping-bag is unconfirmed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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