GNOME, Ireland - Astronauts at the Experimental Space Center Institute in Gnome, Ireland, have announced the launch date for their first manned independent space shuttle "Limerick."
"We have set the date for March 17th 2005 St. Patrick's Day, weather and the leprechaun's union permitting. (They explained that the shuttle is powered by the leprechaun's magic and March 17th is a contractual holiday for their union, but with the promise of double time holiday wages, they thought they may be willing to give it a go.)
The space shuttle is made of all-natural materials collected from the native countryside of Ireland, and handcrafted by the astronauts and the leprechauns in common. With the leprechaun's magic and the engineering skills of the astronauts, the ship was completed and will be ready for a test run next week.
When questioned further about the power source of the shuttle, the group told us the leprechauns are in charge of that department.
"It took years of negotiations to get them to assist us in this endeavor. We knew they had the power to help, but we had nothing to offer them in return for their expertise, until we made an important discovery. One of our weather satellites picked up a very large shiny object at the end of one of the rainbows. It turned out to be their hidden pot of gold' that was found. In negotiations, we promised to never reveal its location, if they would help us power our shuttle. It was a win, win situation for all parties."
Reporters then questioned the astronauts about the viability of the crude, all natural space shuttle, outside the earth's atmosphere.
"Normally, one would be concerned, but there is nothing normal about this operation. The magic powers we are using defy all known laws governing space travel. There is no way that we can explain how or why it works, all we know is, it does. Our knowledge in this regard is limited to what the leprechauns are willing to tell us, which at this point is nothing'. The test run next week should be all the proof we need to assess the shuttle's viability. We are looking forward to that day."