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Thursday, 26 November 2009

image for Dubai 'just runs out of money'; Delightfully 'rich' Dubai has run out of cash
Sand - One of Dubai's top exports

The oil-rich Middle East emirate may have to hold off from a $3.5 billion debt repayment next month after a large phone bill and gas bill came in at once.

Dubai has seen a massive explosion in building with a series of developments, including apartments the size and shape of each moon of Jupiter, aimed at housing former premiership footballers.

The emirate's investment fund has a debt reportedly worth $59 billion.

A spokeslady for Dubai said: "Look it's all fine. We just got a gas bill in. We meant to switch providers and go direct debit, but didn't get round to it.

"Then the phone bill came in, which was a pain in the arse. We will probably get rid of the internet connection because we don't use it that much anyway, and when we do that, it'll all be fine."

Reports from second-hand gold buyer Post Me Some Gold If You Are Desperate suggest several envelopes containing solid gold Rolls Royces have been received from the Middle East.

The spokeslady said: "No, wasn't us. Like I said it's all fine, really. Really. Do you want to buy a watch? It is made out of moon dust and Michael Jackson's leg hair."

Dubai has been hit by a massive property bubble that has now popped, where the price of an 18-bedroom pure platinum mansion has shot up from £1.56 million to £3.34 billion in just three months.

The effect of the bubble bursting is many investors have now been left sprayed by stinking bad debts and holding properties worth a fraction of the sale price in a city that no one really wants to live in.

A core reason for the crash, along with massive over-pricing, speculation and blindness to the fact the party would have to stop one day, has been the ban on sex on the beach with strangers.

It is feared the property crash could now spread across the whole region and the world, except it has already happened.

Malcolm Singstar, Middle East property developer, said: "There is never a better time to buy property in Dubai. Come on, please buy something. I've got a one-bed studio flat made out of tears suitable for a young professional going for £2 million. A darn bargain."

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