Written by Ray Smith
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Health

Sunday, 22 November 2009

image for New Study Shows Laughter is Not Best Medicine

In a shocking twist that is contrary to what the public has been saying for years, a new study released by the U.N. Department of Health has shown that laughter is not the best medicine.

The study originated after three United Nations health workers stumbled across a hospital in Meadville, Pennsylvania which lived by the laughter idea.

Louise Tregen recently admitted her mother to the care of the hospital.

"The most important thing for my mother is that her cancer be healed and her leg be amputated in a safe, sterile environment," Tregen said.

The amputation came first. However, Tregen's mother was placed in front of a television which was showing re-runs of Two and a Half Men. After the show was put on television, it seemed that the new anesthetic, laughter, was not working. It was then determined that Two and a Half Men was not a strong anesthetic at all, and the television was quickly changed the the hit television show, "30 Rock". After laughing for a few minutes, doctors began the surgery.

Tregen was able to feel all of the knife cutting through the bone and began screaming. They decided then to switch to the 1980-era stand up comedy of Eddie Murphy.

Tregen, a white woman, was unable to see the humor and the pain quickly began to increase. An episode of Golden Girls was then switched on, where even though there was hysterical laughing from the 84-year-old woman, the pain seemed to be too much. The pain caused a heart attack, leading to the death of Mrs. Tregen.

It seems in this tough economy that many hospitals are switching to this method, yet American television has yet to produce a comedy so powerful that it will erase the feelings of a rusty knife penetrating skin. One man in Secaucus, NJ recently died after being advised to try to "laugh off" his eye infection, all while watching Still Standing, a mediocre comedy at best.

All patients that have been told to laugh off pain are told to get in touch with the United Nations. It seems for now, common statements aside, that quality health care through prescriptions seem to be the best medicine.

Make Ray Smith's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 5?

3 12 5 4

Go to top ^