GENEVA - Secret UN leaders, according to my Swiss confidential source, have dispatched UN peace keeping forces to Fox studios to intercede between US forces and Fox studio security involved in a tense standoff.
Currently US forces are in control of the talking heads and forcing them to read copy praising the Czars. The UN peace keepers, sporting the traditional blue helmets, are expected to arrive in 14 hours where they will gas the studio, putting everyone to sleep with aspartame gas. Mustard gas was deemed too dangerous to use on civilians.
The UN forces are equipped with special gas masks with Mentos filters.