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Tuesday, 6 October 2009

image for "Bag of Bones" Found Alongside M5: Coppers Seek Whereabouts of Victoria Beckham!
Bag of Bones found on M5 May Have been Scalped! Bad Hair Day?

London,Uk/ Scotland Yard/Interpol Missing Persons Bulletin/Amber Alert - Law enforcement officials at Interpol and Scotland Yard were working feverishly reviewing reams of film from area spy cameras after 'a bag of bones' was found just off the breakdown lane of the city's heavily travelled M5 highway.

The frenzied search coincides with the reported disappearance of Spice Girl Victoria Beckham, wife of gypsy futballer David Beckham, reportedly traveling the globe once again trying to revive his sagging career.

Investigators have fanned out throughout the island kingdom, looking for a lead, any lead, to verify if the pencil profiled entertainer is just off on a walk about, or the possible victim of foul play, or just 'wasted away'!

Skoob 1999, and avid Man U fan, and the manager for the Wonkettes, a wildly popular traveling musical interactive road show, said he met Victoria about a week ago prior to the group traveling to Rio to celebrate the city's receiving the 2016 Olympic bid. "I gave her some time, mate, I felt I owed it to David, him starting out his career with Manchester United and all, it was the least I could do....pitiful wench!"

"She looked really terrible, mate," he said, 'nothing but skin and bones and only some botox holding her together. She was desperate to get back on the stage, and even auditioned briefly as a 'wind chime' as part of the back up group. She was so f*****thin not even a gail wind off the channel in January could get her to issue a tune....! She was really disappointed, but said she would jet ahead to North Korea and talk directly with Kim El Jong to see if she could talk him into at least being the opening act for the Wonkettes when we hit the stage in four days. Sad, Really....not even enough left on her frame for a Chupacabra to chew on....!"

Crime Scene investigators say most of the bones discovered had bite marks on them and the only "hard" remaining evidence was a charm bracelet with a gold soccer ball a half empty Marks and Spenser spice canister containing 'red hot chili pepper flakes' and an atomizer containing some of David's latest after shave "Take the Money and Run", being hawked around the planet.

The Scotland Yard forensic team is now reportedly looking into indications that the skull found on the highway may also have been scalped. Investigators say they will need more man power if they are to question
thousands of British Women of all ages with a Victoria Beckham hair fetish, not to mention more than a handful of aging Queens.

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