New York - Ban Ki-moon of the Republic of Korea, Secretary-General of the United Nations, promptly locked himself in his office bathroom after listening to yesterdays speeches by world leaders and refused to come out. Said the UN Secretary-General through the polished teak door of the private bathroom, "Yu people crazy! World leader normally make speech. I take shit, feel better. But now too many crazy leaders. I no can shit big enough!"
Giving speeches before the UN general assembly included the diaper wearing ex-terrorist Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi and the empty skull eyed perennial crybaby President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran. Both leaders condemned the West for engaging in what they termed "the despicable habit of holding wasteful semi-honest elections." Said Ahmadinejad of Iran, "What's the use of holding elections if you can't receive at least 102 percent of the vote."
However the atmosphere soon lightened up when in an amusing afternoon display of musical chairs, world leaders would jump up and run away when a speech was given by a political foe, only to reappear moments later to enthusiastically applaud their allies.
French President Sarkozy however found himself in a dangerous situation and without his seat when he returned only to discover the 350 pound Prime Minister of Liberia had taken his seat, and in a profanity laced diatribe combined with the evil eye dared the French president to remove him from his seat. Sarkozy instead wound up sitting with the media, moping by himself for the rest of the afternoon.
After the speeches the world leaders departed for the bowels of the UN where they continued their plans in earnest for carving up the planet. In a surprise event word soon leaked that China would be allowed to continue their purchase of Tibet in return for their purchase of Russian oil and American made Chicago style pizzas from Tony's Pizza's of Chicago, which is partially owned by Obama's mother-in-law.