Written by DaddyMothership
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Saturday, 5 September 2009

image for Al Gore Offers Global Warming Out For A Fight
Muhammad AL-G

'Controversy in Washington' may not seem like such a unique or unusually story. But this time the eyes really do have to be rubbed to believe what is unfolding in DC.

After years of trying to educate, enforce and change our attitude about the effects of global warming, Al Gore has said he's had enough.

No, not enough of trying to be the Weather Jesus, but of that dastardly thing he hates so much, Climate Change. In a shock move on ESPN, the former Vice President announced his upcoming title bout with Global Warming in Las Vegas (venue to be confirmed).

"It's me or that great Piranha." He told us. "I've had enough of trying to sell this crap to people and never getting anywhere. Governments and big business are not bothered; all they care about is the money. So I figured, okay let's make it about money, and let's have a world Title fight with Global Warming." The irate campaigner shouted into his microphone.

Asked if he thought he had any chance of winning the fight he told us, "I don't know. It's 50-50. I mean global warming is either always hot and bothered, which screams of unfitness, or pissing down with rain, which might indicate kidney problems. A couple of digs to that area and he'll be on the canvas, out cold and pissing his shorts."

When I asked him if it was ironic for a Nobel Peace Prize winner to be fighting he told us. "No, we all need to patch things up with that ozone layer friend of ours, and I'm the man to do it. It's about time somebody brought him down to earth."

The fight will be on Box Office for $120, a December date has been pencilled in, to catch global warming cold no doubt.

The Title fight is being sponsored by ExxonMobil, Harken Energies (HKN) and General Motors. The winner will fight Governor Schwarzenegger to be labelled Weather Jesus of the World.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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