Written by Morse
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Topics: The Spoof

Thursday, 6 August 2009

image for Spoof editor denies Skoob trade rumours: "I'll Never let  him go" says Lowton!
Mrs. Skoob heads to Barclays with yet another outrageous spoof deposit

Rabid followers of the Spoof were aghast today after rumours surfaced that prolific social commentator Skoob1999 was on the sale block for a reported $30m, a story that team owner Sir Mark Lowton vehemently denied.

With over 600 entries to his credit , it is said that Skoob was the fastest writer to reach the infamous 666 journalistic number since the incredible Monkey Woods , recently sold to Real Thailand for a still undisclosed amount.

Spoof observers have commented that the Spoof line-up has shown some sign of ageing of late and speculate Lowton may be looking to move toward a younger generation of writers versed in covering more topical subjects in order to remain high in the internet standings.

Reached at his private table at the infamous Ship Anson Pub Skoob was philosophical about the torrid tabloid stories saying he's fended off similar rumours during his lengthily journalistic career.

"It's bollucks mostly," he said hoisting yet another Belgian Draft. "I go where the money is, something Monkey told me a long time ago when I first broke into the lineup . Me and the lovely Mrs. don't mind seeing a bit of the world and with $80,000 a week tax free we're abkle to at least keep up with the average striker or midfielder, although not with the Beckhams, of course."

Behind the scenes negotiations are said to include bidders Rupert Murdock who said he would like to add a little levity to his otherwise stable of said journalistic holdings but it is said he is being challenged by Silvio Berlusconi of the Milan Team who also controls most of the media outlets in Italy. Berlusconi is said to be thinkng of paring Skoob with Amanda Knox, his newest acquisition, in a late night sex game call in show.

A tight jawed Lowton, who it was said was furious that his efforts to trade ageing goalie SFO was met with ridicule,, is said to be hard-pressed to replace recent defections, especially the dearly departed Monkey Woods, said to be worth "at least 12 individual. writers".

Outside reports said SFO had taken "too many shots to the head lately" and his effectiveness in stopping shots was diminished due to Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

Stalwart spoof vets Hal A. Peno and Bucky W. Butt are said to be renegotiating their contracts dealing from a position of strength, and are said to be willing to reinvent some previous persona in order to pick up the slack if Skoob goes on a "walk about".

Skoob has said he has yet to submit his transfer request documents, and also volunteered he had another round of steroids and growth enhancement hormones before being willing to submit to a full physical. He said passing the metal tests were really "no fuckin' problem!"

Mrs. Skoob was said to have her doubts and claimed her husband was "a walking red card!"

More if the story develops.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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