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Thursday, 23 July 2009

In a calculated leak to committee members attending a closed-door session mid-season meeting of a US think-tank funded by its tax-payers, Russian Intelligence officials hinted that last winter they had apprehended Osama while he was urinating on a steel girder in Verhoyansk when the temperature was minus fifty-two degrees Celsius.

"...shaw shteem, heard gashps." gushed Colonel Torehertitsoff over an informal Vodka gathering.

Osama, fleeing from capture and possibly perpetual incarceration, took refuge in Verhoyansk as a guest of the local Mullah .

"Cold not good for his bladder. His balls shrink into anus.." explained Dr. Nguyen Bitchikokoff.

"The extreme cold apparently froze him, urine and steel-girder together to his still hands still entwined around his member!" said Ursulla Drool.

US Loobyists are concerned that trillions of USD set aside for his capture would now be out of reach. Reliable but anonymous sources reveal that Osama has since been whisked to a secret research institute in Langley for debriefing, disrobing and possibly urinary research.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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