Washington AC/DC - (Aldrich Ames Ass Mess): Leslie Naked Gun/Spy Hard Nielsen's former stuntman/lookalike Colonel General Aleksandr Zelin is not a happy bunny.
The Commander-in-Chief of the Russian Air Force has been summoned to the Kremlin to explain a new fighting strategy of shooting down half of the country's very own planes.
The move follows official military reports that half Russia's planes in the war against Georgia were tasered down in friendly fire.
The own goal policy is reminscent of a return to Cold War tactics masterminded by stalwart Soviet wack-jobs like Nikita Khrushchev and Alexander Kosygin.
From his palatial condominium overlooking the Pentagon building today Nielsen appeared unsurprised at the Moscow news.
"Zelin's never really gotten over the demotion to running the Russian Air Farce," the movie actor explained.
"Damn fine stuntman, cute ass too!
"Pity I can't say the same about the other guy, whatsisname.... General Colon Bowel.
"Total crap actor like.....aaargh!"
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