Written by Stuart Gilbert
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Topics: Easter

Wednesday, 20 March 2002

image for Easter Bunny retires after family tragedy
The lucky escapees

The Easter Bunny has retired from the business after a long and prosperous reign as the number 1 chocolate delivering animal. His retirement came very shortly after police released information that 3 of Mr. Bunny's 5,258 children were taken hostage and shot in the head.

The hunt for their killer continues.

150 more of Mr. Bunny's children were killed recently after Mrs. Bunny forgot to take them to the doctors for their myxomatosis jabs.

But with the unexpected and very untimely retirement of Mr. Bunny their has been a need for another rabbit that can travel at the speed of Santa with the grace and silence of the Tooth Fairy.

Will a suitable replacement be found before Easter or will thousands of children's hopes and dreams be dashed?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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