Written by Chamone
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Topics: shoes

Friday, 3 July 2009

image for Bastard who invented High Heels Dies
Torture Implements that are bizarrely lusted after

The man who invented stiletto heels for woman's shoes has died at the age of 94.

Francois Dullard created the evil torture implements for his wife Minnie - she was only 2ft 6inches tall and he was tired of always kicking her in the head as they waltzed down the Champs Elysees avoiding dog shit.

The Paris fashion houses soon caught on to the craze and female shoes - which were once comfortable to wear - were converted into lopsided, lethal stilts.

At the beginning, woman had to be trained to wear them and instruction manuals with diagrams were provided in every shoebox. In the first year alone, 5,247 women died in accidents directly attributed to high-heeled shoes.

Dullard took to actively promoting the shoes by wearing them himself - but the trend amongst males never took off, mainly due to several unfortunate instances while wearing them amongst the armed forces of the First World War.

Dullard died peacefully at home - with his stilettos off.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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