Written by matwil
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Tuesday, 19 May 2009

image for Israeli PM reminds Barack Obama to obey Israeli and British orders without question
President Obama being told by Hollywood that America is the mightiest country in the world

Israeli PM Benjamin Warcriminal met US President Barack Obama today, and the two are expected to discuss many Middle-Eastern issues.

Such as the Israeli air force using jets to massacre civilians quite deliberately, and tanks and snipers joining in as well, just to make sure. And also American soldiers dying thousands of miles away from America, in places that have absolutely nothing to do with the USA.

'Sure', Mr Warcriminal said, 'massacres will be top of my agenda, as will all the free jets and tanks the USA keeps sending us, and I'll also be ordering Mr Obama to send more soldiers over here to attack Israel's enemies, Iraq, Iran, Afganistan, etc.'

'Though why a single American can be dumb enough to come over here and die for Israel beats me! You'd think they'd worked it out by now - Americans don't win wars, and are dying in British and French colonies to save the British and French doing it any more, like Vietnam, Afghanistan and Iraq.'

'But Mr Warcriminal', President Obama interrupted, 'I hate to say this, you understand, but Iraq is not a British colony.' 'Iraq was invented by the British, drawn up on a map in London.'

'Well, Vietnam wasn't British.' 'It was a French colony.' 'What about Afghanistan?' 'British.' 'OK, OK, wise guy, but at least the British never ran Israel, ha ha ha!' 'The British ruled Palestine, now Israel, from 1918 to 1948.'

'Dang! OK, but at least -' wipes sweat off his face '- the mightiest country in the world, the United States of America, was never ruled by Britain!' 'Don't you have history books in America?'

'Jesus - if you pardon the joke - why do you think Americans died in two European wars that had nothing to do with them for Britain?' 'Because the USA is still ruled by Britain?' 'Only took you 232 years to work it out.'

'And why are Americans dying in British and French colonies in 2009, and refusing to criticise Israel?', Mr Warcriminal continued. 'Because America is not only ruled by Britain and France, it's now also ruled by Israel?' 'Well done again, Senator - I mean President.'

'In 2000 years' time the USA will finally work out how the world is actually run. By which time the British, French, Spanish, Arabs, Israelis, Chinese and Germans will all have left this planet. And then America will at last become the mightiest country in the world, as there won't be anyone left to lose wars to.'

'Thank you, Mr Warcriminal. Can I go out and play with the big boys now?' 'No.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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