Written by Lettuce
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Topics: Pope, Israel

Wednesday, 13 May 2009

image for Pope calls for Israel to be wiped off the map 
Popes: Each one crazier than the last

Pope Benedict XVI has joined the ranks of other religious fanatics, world leaders and nut jobs with calls to wipe Israel off the map.  Standing alongside Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas, he delivered his strongest public support yet for blowing the living shit out of Israel.  Thereby continuing along his current trend of giving his opinion when it's not wanted, needed or relevant to his role as Pope. 

Speaking to the largely Muslim population of Palestine, the Pope said: "Well, to be fair, I'm not overly keen on your lot either, but at least you do believe in Jesus".  He continued: "I mean if you're going to believe a load of nonsense, your nonsense is closer to my nonsense.  Well that and there's a lot more Muslims than Israelis, and with old Ahmadinejad just about ready to blow up anyone who looks at him funny, best to choose stick with you beardy sorts, for the time being anyway".

When asked whether his latest statements have anything to do with the fact that he is German and that his chief speech writer and spiritual advisor was the recently pardoned holocaust denier Richard Williamson.  The Pope replied: "I'm 78 you know".

When asked how he suggested Israel be wiped off the map, his Holiness replied: "Ahh, good question, um, condoms, oh wait, lack of condoms, banning condoms, it's one of those isn't it?".

Speaking from his Los Angeles mansion, a drunk, naked and slurring Mel Gibson was quoted as saying: "You go Popie, see I told  I was right about those damn Jews".  He then passed out in a pot plant.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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