Written by Bluebella
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Tuesday, 12 May 2009

image for Crazy hook handed terrorist converting to Christianity and replacing hook with bible
Abu's dismembered hook hand was found on the tube last week causing great panic. Abu said it was just a joke.

Jordan - Crazy hook-handed terrorist Abu Hamza is converting to Christianity after "seeing the light" last weekend during a life changing incident.

Hamza, well known in Britain as Islamic Preacher of Hate, left the country in 2007 to go on a cheap shopping spree in the Bazaar Markets in Istanbul. He was dismayed and surprised when UK border officials would not let him back in the country when he tried to return with a bag full of Turkish carpets and "genuine" Swiss watches. He was forced to return to his home country of Jordan, but thankfully is still able to collect British benefits.

Hamzu is well known in Britain and the world for all his ranting and raving about his hatred of Westerners and Christians. "Death to infidels" is his favourite catchphrase.

But all that is in the past. Hamza is a self confessed changed man. Gone is the trade-mark beard, gone is the glass eye, gone is the skull cap. And most of all gone is the hook hand - it has been replaced by a New Testament Bible.

Hamza said the life changing incident took place in a nightclub in Lebanon, when his friend offered him a shot of tequila with the lemon and salt. After a few more shots, Hamza said, all his hatred for westerners and infidels was gone - he felt like a dark cloud had been lifted. "If this is what being a westerner, and a Christian, is like" Hamza said, cheering and licking the salt off his hand "then count me in!"

Abu Hamza is 59 and has 8 wives. No-one is game to tell him he'll have to give 7 of them up when the Christianity conversion is finalised.

He intends to visit a hard-house rave in Ibiza next week to further immerse himself in Christian culture.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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