Written by Miguel Guasch
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Topics: Kids, Toys, missing

Monday, 4 March 2002

image for Stuffed Bunny, Mr Floppels, Disappears.
Mr. Floppels - Missing.

KETCHUM, WY -- Tragedy struck the Shiny Smiles Community Play Center last Wednesday when Samantha Togglson's beloved stuffed bunny Mr. Floppels mysteriously disappeared.

At 2 o'clock as Sam and her mother Helen Togglson were leaving the center, witnesses recount hearing Helen say "Hey honey, where's Mr. Floppels?" Upon realizing that she had lost her bunny Sam began to cry (shown above left).

Sam and Helen immediately began to search for the synthetic life-mate, but to no avail. Helen quickly enlisted the aid of Mrs. Jamie Bradshaw, but even with the help of her keen detection skills, they failed to locate the bunny. We caught up with Mrs. Bradshaw and asked for her thoughts on the situation, she said "It's just a plush rabbit. They sell the things at the gas station for $4.77. The kid's only had it a week anyways. I really don't know why she's so worked up about it".

After two unsuccessful attempts to track down the missing plush pet, Helen took out her Ericsson T60d mobile phone and contacted the authorities.

Officer Melissa Drake was on the scene within 8 minutes. After surveying the crime scene, she decided to treat this as a theft, although Helen insisted to treat it as a missing person.

After questioning the more suspicious looking children (shown above right) she concluded that Mr. Floppels had been smuggled out of the building, and was probably gutted, stuffed with cocaine, and headed to Canada in a black '69 VW bug.

At the realization that she would never ever see her adored bunny again, Sam began to wail uncontrollably. Helen seeing her only daughter's pain allegedly became very agitated. Slasher, the in-center-clown quotes Mrs. Toggleson as screaming "Which one of you little assholes was it?! Which one? I know one of you little fuckers stole Mr. Floppels. Everyone's always eyballin' him, and one of you little shit rags took him! I won't rest until I've gotten Mr. Floppels back safe in Samantha's arms! Why don't you just give him up and spare yourself the humiliation of getting your ass kicked you little prick!"

Due to the outburst the Togglson family has been banned from the Shiny Smiles Community Play Center for the next 6 years, and three children are apparently in therapy.

If you get your cocaine delivered in a stuffed bunny resembling the one pictured above, please contact Helen.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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