Written by Morse
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Monday, 30 March 2009

image for Michelle Forces CEO of Largest Pizza Emporium to Resign after Spam Left Off Big Family Order!
Obama Doctrine: Not Satisfied with One Slice, Takes the Whole Pie!

Washington,DC/ Big Fucking Food Fight - The second shoe hit the floor today, following Obama's imperialistic dismissal of GM's Rick Wagoner, when Pepi "Big Sal" Salvadore Jr. was forced to step down from his position as founder and CEO of Big Sal's Pizza, due to a complaint from Michelle Obama over a" loaded" pizza.

"Big Sals", a pizza emporium founded in New York, was started in 1933 by Big Sal Sr. and now encompasses outlets in 48 states and the district of Columbia. Big Sal Jr. a graduate of Wharton Business School, Harvard Law and a decorated and wounded Viet Nam Veteran listed in Forbes as one of the Nation's top business men, and lauded for outstanding employee relations, took over the company in 1973 and brought it to the head of he Pizza Industry through self sacrifice and a dedication to customer satisfaction.

Apparently a recent complaint from Michelle Obama resulting from an order for 500 pizza's for the First Couple's weekly Wednesday Night at the Movies love fest at the White House, caused the CEO to lose his job, as well as control of the family business.

According to insiders, the Washington Pizza Franchise where Michelle ordered the pizzas not only ran out of spam topping, but also ran out of anchovies and ham hocks . Needless to say advertised delivery time of 1 hour was also compromised when the 500 pie order was made with only a 90 minute lead time.

When the hot pies arrived, taking up 15 delivery cars and an additional 28' Hertz Rental Truck, the First Lady's Secretary refused to pay the bill, saying the pizzas were late by 7 minutes and had ruined the first lady's evening where they were screening a new Michael Moore Expose "Fat, Dumb & Liberal."

Unfortunately the 16 delivery boys, working their way through Georgetown University, refused to leave until they were paid as they were responsible for the delivery and the collection of the money.

Apparently a sympathetic Secret Service Agent personally paid the bill, as he too had paid his way through law school by working at Big Sals, his salary matched by Sal on a 401k education plan, and he put an end to the unpleasantness. He was later transferred to the American Somoa Field Office.

Unfortunately, Malignant Michelle filled an official complaint with her Husband, The Great Usurper, and he in turn ordered the termination of Big Sal through efforts of Tim "the Tool" Geithner, Secretary of Treasury, and Eric "Pardon Me" Holder, who exerted behind the scenes pressure bordering on Extortion.

An attorney for Big Sal said today that due to circumstances beyond their control, that the company would be forced to shut down due the presidential action and an ACORN boycott. Officials said 4500 employees would be unemployed and 3000 stores would be abandoned.

On an unrelated note Barney Frank said today he granted a small business loan to a group of Chicago Entrepreneurs to open a nationwide chain of Famous Chicago Deep Dish Pizzas. Amount of the loan was said to be in excess of $39M, and terms were said to be "favorable."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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