Written by Don Fulsom
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Josef Fritzl

Sunday, 22 March 2009

The 73-year-old "Austrian Ogre," who got life in prison for murder and incest, says he hopes to get an even fuller head of hair while behind bars.

Joseph Fritzl, who enslaved his daughter in his cellar and sexually abused her 3,000 times during a 24-year period, has selected a lax prison for "psychologically abnormal" convicts.

The prison has a gym, classes in tennis and English, and a hair transplant center. Fritzl says his current hair transplant was botched, so he will take advantage of the center's services.

"Maybe my daughter will like me more if I get a fuller head of hair," Fritzl said.

He and his 42-year-old daughter, Elisabeth, have six children.

Fritzl spoke while playing darts in his penthouse suite in the prison, set in the foothills of the Alps and considered one of the country's best.

"I should have just gone with a comb-over, like my hero Hitler," the convict added.

Make Don Fulsom's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.



Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.




Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 2?

7 13 6 5

Go to top ^