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Topics: Australia, Kidneys

Friday, 13 March 2009

image for Australian Woman Develops Kidney Opals
"G'day, mate"

Newcastle AU: The Journal of the Australian Medical Society (JAMS) has reported that a 45 year old women living in Lightning Ridge New South Wales (NSW) underwent surgery to remove a rather unique Kidney stone.

Adelaide Jenkins was rushed the 700 kilometers by a helicopter to hospital in Newcastle. She had been complaining of severe abdominal pains, but said "it probably was just another Kidney stone, which would pass naturally." Doctors removed a solid black opal that was about 12 carats, oval shaped and worth $60k (American). Doctors from down under worked carefully "down under" to dislodge this object.

Lightning Ridge, population 1200, located in outback NSW sits on the world's richest deposit of black opals and receives 18,000 visitors per year. Adelaide Jenkins and her husband Sydney own the very colourful James Cook Pub, a bed and breakfast inn. Adelaide has 14 daughters of various ages.

Local residents are bemused over this event and thought it must be due to the hot Adam's ale from the various local mineral springs, although no one else has shown any symptoms of the same malady. Others blame the tourists who bring in French bottled water.

Australia exports 95% of the world's Opals, including very fine ones. The sale of opals contributes upwards of $500 million (American) to the Australian economy each year. A spokesperson, Ms. White Pointers, for the Australian Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade said "the Opal miners are not particularly upset with this new means of producing Opals, both from a quantity and market share perspective. Besides it will take much longer than a walkabout to bring the siblings on-line, assuming they also have the capability. G'day, mate."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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