Written by bonzodog64
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Topics: Breasts, Jordan, Skiing, Essex

Thursday, 12 March 2009

image for Jordan's Cleavage is to be sold to build Essex ski slope

Vacuous strumpet and Multi talented Katie price has sold her breasts as part of a deal to build a new ski slope in Essex.

"Her Silicon valley is ideal for skiers of all abilities", claims Peter Andre." I love a slide up there myself. Katie loves nothing better than a big fat "Hot Dog" on the way down her cleavage after a slide up the bottom on the way to the "Twin peeks".

"We may need to shot blast them first to get all the orange off", says a representative at the Harland and Wolf shipyard. We plan to tow her tits down the Thames to Tilbury where they will be refitted and resurfaced. There is clearly some leakage but nothing we can't handle."

Following various product promotions and endorsements, observers have been left wondering if there is anything, this 'celebrity' will not sell. Katie was criticised recently for selling her vagina as a lorry park, albeit during the weekends.

Ever the manic self- publicist, Katie has sold the rights to her" tit flotation" to Hello magazine for an undisclosed sum. A local politician claims that what appears to be an altruistic gesture in giving your breasts for children to slide all over is actually a carefully constructed piece of publicity designed to perpetuate the myth of Katie being the emancipated, ballsy, confident, capable professional. Critics claim that Jordan is nothing more than a pneumatic, self-serving slut who has done about as much for feminism as Sid James!

Jordan's breasts released a statement through their lawyers citing professional differences and intellectual incompatibility as reasons for the split. We quit several months ago claim her breasts and only communicate through lawyers. She is not selling us, we resigned!

Observers claim Katie's tits became too egotistical, 'difficult', and deluded to be satisfied with being attached to a clueless Bimbo."Frankly, we are really down and it is not going to get any better. Sagging under the weight of thwarted ambition We had no choice but to wind up the business. We have evolved and moved onward and upward but Katie remains the same tired, tarty old cliché! The ski slope is just the start" claim her tits.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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