God has sacked Pope John Paul II. The dismissal came soon after a 10-minute telephone conversation the two had.
Sources said God was very unhappy with the way the Pole was handling the world's problems. You don't seem to have worked out a peaceful solution to any of the world's problems,' God told the Pope.
What is your use in that chair?' he went on to ask the leader of the Catholic Church in Vatican.
I you are unwell, please quit immediately,' the Pope was told.
Sources said that God was livid after he read recent press reports that Catholic priests were involved in sex scandals.
FedEx sources said newspapers for the last few years were delivered to Heaven only recently.
God was said to have been all the more upset when the Pope replied to him in Polish, which he could not understand.
It is not clear what the Pope whispered to God over the telephone.
Time magazine's Man of the Century was said to have spent a sleepless night after the call, sources in the Vatican said.
A decision on a new Pope, God said, will be taken in a week. Alexander Pope is said to be the frontrunner.
Tuesday, 22 June 2004
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