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Sunday, 22 February 2009

EU unity in regulating financial markets has taken a sledgehammer to the face earlier today amidst reports of in-fighting between Nicolas Sarkozy and Gordon Brown.

Brown, British Prime Minister and previously Chancellor for, well, ages, received sizeable sleights from the French leader, which observers confide culminated into an argument regarding who was more the lady's man.

Sarkozy is believed to have pulled out a picture of his quite famous wife, Carla Bruni, strumming a learner's guitar, only to then waggle his tongue lubriciously at Brown while rubbing his thighs, in the process ripping his chinos and covering his hands with those little blacks you get from vigorous rubbing.

Brown wasn't happy and, with a trademark grimace, sincerely recited his Scout motto of doing better for others, and how he wanted to apply that to a resolution of the global financial crisis.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel tried her Teutonic best to intervene but Sarkozy was having none of it and, having asserted fair Carla's attributes, proceeded to dismiss Browns wife Sarah as a 'hairy hag'.

Brown stormed out, tears rolling down his face, and tucked into a bacon roll fifteen minutes later with extra mayonnaise, all the while muttering imprecations that can't bode well for Anglo-French relations.

Leaders hope the altercation doesn't affect the G20 meeting later this year.

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