Written by Jalapenoman
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Thursday, 19 February 2009

image for Secret Plans for Terrorist World Domination Discovered
Wanna see this message on The Golden Arches?

Secret plans written and approved by the late Ayatollah Khomeini for world domination have been discovered in a cave in Iraq by soldiers searching for Osama Bin Laden. The plans, written in the mid 1970's and bound in a book, apparently were printed and in the possession of most leaders of the extremist world.

Many of the plans in the book have already come to pass (removing the Shah of Iran from power, sending mass emigrants to Europe, and gaining greater control over the oil supply, for example).

The book also outlines ways to indoctrinate youth to desire to become suicide bombers and worship their own ignorance and lack of education. Ignoring the admonitions in the Koran for a peaceful existence are also avoided in favor of interpretations forcing the want to destroy the Western world (though it is never mentioned actually, symbolically, or prophetically).

If the plan is followed, the next steps will include:

  • Making plastic bracelets with the letters WWMD472V (What would Mohammed do for 72 Virgins?)
  • An instruction sheet on "How to Get into American and European Colleges and Get Their Governments to Pay for Your Education."
  • Petitioning all governments of the world to recognize Sharia law
  • Establishing an television network network
  • More planes, more buildings, more bombers, more railroads


If the Khomeini plan is followed, Europe should be in their control by 2035. The U.S. should follow 20 years later.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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