Written by jeremy griffiths
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Topics: Jesus, Christmas, Toys, doll

Tuesday, 16 December 2008

image for Jesus is 2008 Toy Miracle Seller - Outsells Barbie!
Patiently queueing for Jesus

This year's miracle seller has literally risen from the dead this season and broken all sales records.

The Jesus doll, long considered somewhat naff and tacky, has been reincarnated for 2008 Christmas with a new look and a suite of miracle accessories.

Previously simply just waterproof, the new hi-tech Jesus doll now comes as standard with a radio controlled "loaves and fishes launch facility". At the push of the LF button Jesus' coat opens to shower loaves and fishes to the assembled throng.

It is understood that the doll's manufacturer's have renewed their franchise deal with the Catholic Church for the use of the Jesus image and his entourage.

"This is bigger than Barbie", enthused Paul Galilee, head of marketing development, "We already have Mary and Joseph in short supply, and cribs are unobtainable, fights are breaking out in Toy's R Us over them. Next year we will roll out the twelve diciples, we have something very special in mind for our Silver Edition Judas model".

Easter is likely to see the cave with the secret exit revealed. A spring loaded "Ascent to heaven module" is at an advanced stage of development, it is hoped to launch it three days after Easter.

Neiman Marcus, Tesco and Marks and Spencer are not stocking the line as they have an exclusive deal with "Bratz" to market the "Old Testament" range of "Noah and Friends"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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