Written by King David
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Thursday, 11 December 2008

image for "Git-Mo" reveals new music CD; Songs to torture by
This man is being tortured by American heavy metal music

It was reported today that Guantanamo Bay has compiled a CD with their top 17 songs to torture by. "The bleeding ears sweet seventeen", as they are affectionately called by gitmo staff comes out just in time for Christmas.

The new album's release does not come out without criticism, says music critic for Vibe Magazine, Cliff Note. Mr. Note says that many musicians are unhappy with the government and have asked the military to stop using their songs as weapons.

"We're going stop playing heavy metal," said Tom Morello who played with Rage Against the Machine and Autoslave, "and take up classical if they are going to continue using our music that way."

Many other musicians feel the same way as Morello. Ozzy Osbourne, the once lead singer of 70's metal band, Black Sabbath said that he would become a milk poster child and take up the harp if his music continued to be used that way.

The recording was scheduled to be released on Guantanamo's own label, "Git-Mo" Records and would be available in stores for the Christmas season.

The compilation includes the following tracks:

AC/DC's "Hells Bells"
BeeGees, "Stayin' Alive
Bruce Springsteen's, "Born in the USA"
Christina Aquilera's, "Dirrty"
Don McClean's, "American Pie"
Drowning Pool's, "Bodies"
Eminem's, "Slim Shady"
Metallica's, "Enter Sandman"
Neil Diamond's, "America"
Nine Inch Nails', "March of the Pigs"
Prince's, "Raspberrry Beret"
Rage Against the Machine's, "Killing in the Name Of"
Queen's, "We are the Champions"
Theme songs from "Barney" and "Sesame Street"
And Tupac Shakur's, "All Eyes on Me"
Ozzy Osbourne's, "Crazy Train" and "Bark at the Moon"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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