Written by PP Rega
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Tuesday, 2 December 2008

image for Hillary Doesn't Want To Be Obama's Emissary to Somali Pirates
"How do say, 'Don't hurt me' in Somali-talk?"

The soon-to-be Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, is said to be balking at her first assignment. According to the next administration's inner circle, President-elect Obama has specifically directed Ms. Clinton to fly to Somalia on the very day of his inauguration and initiate discussions with the Somali pirates.

However, Ms. Clinton has many reservations about this endeavor, according to an unofficial spokesperson. Obama's foreign policy experts want to make this initiative as innocuous and non-threatening as possible. Therefore, she will be traveling to the region second-class on Alitalia and will have no security personnel with her. Ms. Clinton required an explanation as to what "second-class" meant.

In order to appear empathetic to Ms. Clinton's concerns, Mr. Obama has agreed that she keep her frequent flyer miles and that she be allowed to travel incognito. Both the President-elect and Michelle Obama believe that a Liza Minelli disguise will be more than adequate.

When asked if Bill Clinton had anything to do with this perilous journey, the unofficial spokesperson said, "No way" and then gave this reporter a wink.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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