Ex-President Bill Clinton has been picked by President-Elect Barack Obama to be the next Ambassador to Somalia. The announcement will come sometime next week. One pre-condition was that he destroy all the phone numbers of all the women he's harassed in his global travels and stay forever faithful to Hillary.
According to Democratic insiders, Mr. Clinton was reluctant to accept the nomination under those conditions until he learned that he'll be able to share in the booty of the Somali pirates.
It is estimated that these pirates are now among the richest people in the world due to the extortion of millions of dollars each week from cowardly shipping magnates. Mr. Clinton would virtually be guaranteed $150 million annually. In addition to that, it has been agreed that Bill will be able to sail with the pirates as a "look-out" in the ship's crow's nest, wield a cutlass and induce one prisoner to walk the plank every other week.