Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Sex

Monday, 17 November 2008

image for World's Most-Sexed Man Did Something Else Instead Yesterday

The world's most-sexed man, who engages in full-blown sex as many as 20 times each and every day, had a day off yesterday, and did something else.

Carlos Coccolini, an Argentinian, decided that, after more than 20 years of endless shagging, he needed a break.

First, the Latin Lothario took a bus into Buenos Aires to do a little shopping. On the bus, he sat next to Altea Trujillo, 23, who offered him a blow job, but Carlos declined, saying he had to "get off" as it was nearly his stop.

After shopping for a while, he ordered a coffee at La Giralda Cafeteria, where the buxom waitress, upon bringing his drink, caught his eye, and motioned to a back room, cupping her breasts in encouragement; once again, Carlos politely refused, finished his coffee and left.

Two hours later, he passed a shop window on Corrientes Avenue, and noticed his long, curly locks needed cutting. He checked-into an exclusive barber shop, where he was shown to a seat by 'Maria', a sexy-looking 19-year-old stylist, whose fingers lingered rather too long as she draped a towel around his neck. Their eyes met, and she sighed and moaned, but Carlos, despite having an enormous erection, told her that he needed only a trim.

On leaving the barber shop, he went bowling, and met two sisters who were playing in the next lane. He glanced over as the elder sister, Juanita, stooped to bowl, exposing lower back. Her younger sibling Josephine, winked invitingly at Coccolini, and hitched her already-short mini-skirt up to expose her hairy fadge, but he showed incredible restraint, merely smiling back.

Afterwards, he caught the bus back to La Boca, with token women throwing themselves at him along the way, until he alighted at the Estadio Alberto J. Armando where his favourite team, Boca Juniors, were due to entertain local rivals, River Plate. The game finished 0-0, but, during it, Senor Coccolini was propositioned by no less than 30 nymphomaniac women and girls, all of whom wanted to slobber on his cock.

Bored, Carlos left early and went to his local pub, Pornito's.

There, the barmaid, Elsa, brought him a beer to his table, and smeared its froth into her cleavage, at which point, Coccolini stood and announced to everyone in the bar:

"I'm tired of sex today. Please stop bothering me. I'm going home for a cup of cocoa and an early night. Normal service will be resumed tomorrow."

Today, a queue of 20 saucy women clad in suspenders under their overcoats waited outside the stud's residence hoping to become his next conquest, whilst, inside, Carlos banged his flatmate to within an inch of her life over the kitchen table.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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