Written by Zoltan Peppa
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Saturday, 8 November 2008

image for Barak Obama to order US to only import Kenyan Coffee.  And then outlaws all other varieties.

President Obama announced his first Socialist act he was going to pass as soon as possible. Having already warned the US that he'd make decisions that might be unpopular.

He stated in front of the world's media, 'we need to help the needy in society and give them a helping hand. Therefore my homies in Kenya will be given a financial boost by being the sole supplier of coffee to the USA'. Obama went on to say, 'Any other coffee imports will be met with severe swift harsh punishment'.

After that short statement Obama sloped off rather quickly saying, 'I have rather more pressing issues to attend to, like the imminent war with Scotland'.

This left the World's media in stunned silence. Except of course the Kenyan contingent who burst into Engilakinoto style song and start jumping up and down like pogo sticks in celebration.

'I can't believe this brazen corruption shown by Barak Obama,' said Steve Dooby Fox News reporter, 'we all know Mr Bush was bent, but least he tried to cover it up. It's a well-known fact that Barak Obama's cousin Cadaver Obama lives in Kenya and just happens to be a coffee grower.

Kenyan Ambassador Fogo Umbongo seemed undisturbed by the negative reactions, he said 'this is fantastic for Kenya; it'll bring jobs and prosperity to my country. We'll probably make contingency plans to prevent freeloading whites entering Kenya attempting to steal black man's jobs though. It is important for Kenya to 'look after their own'.

When the news of Obama's decision hit the streets. Concerns were voiced about other coffee growers around the world losing business and their very livelihoods under threat. Vice President Joe Biden released a short statement in response which read, 'oh dear, they'll have to grow something else instead'.

It is expected that all existing coffee already imported will be allowed to get used up. After that, it's Kenyan all the way, so US Citizens will have to get used to it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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