Written by The Big C O Jones
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Topics: Paris Hilton, vagina

Thursday, 30 October 2008

image for Paris Hilten Shows Her Pussy Flaps to US Presidential Candidates!
Paris Hilten - 'Read My Lips'

As a part of her 'fake' presidential campaign, Paris Hilten showed of her Pussy Flaps to the real presidential candidates earlier today in a media frenzy that has bored the world.

Hilten, best known for going out, getting pissed and generally fucki*g anything and everything she likes (whilst being filmed by a CamCorder) today showed off her product to challenge 'cat flaps' to Senators McCains and Labamba.

"I've always wanted to launch my endorsed range of products to assist the pissed-up party slapper when she gets home' said the spoilt little heiress biatch 'and by showing off my pussy flaps to the two Senators today I am doing just that'.

Better known as a door to normal people, Hiltens Pussy Flaps have a specially designed and patented 'pissed precocious tart with a low IQ sensor' that allows drunken 'IT' girls to walk into them as they open automatically when the dense twa*s knock into them repeatedly and subsequently only cause them slight facial injuries as opposed to the current broken noses and fractured skulls they suffer with the current 'door' system.

Warnings have been issued about the product however as it has been shown to attract men with equally low IQ who attempt to enter the flaps and subsequently end up contracting a nasty STD.

'My next fake presidential campaign product is another Pussy related system that hails chauffeur driven limousines for posh bints that have downed to much champers with the clever tag line of 'Read my lips, no more taxis' - but I was told its just a crap play on words by Bush....and I agree...its all about the Pussy and not about the Bush!'.

Senator McCains only attended the event to launch a new range of oven chips he's called 'Baraks Shoulders'. When asked about the name of the product, McCains told us to '...read between the fucki*g lines you Sons O'Bitches' and was last seen shooting pistols randomly in the air and shouting 'YeeeeeeeeeeeHaaaaaaaw MuthaFuck*rs, Iran here I come'.

Some cynical commentators believe that this story is just utter sh*t and has simply been published just to see how many people will read it just because it involves a well known celebrity tart, double entendre and the mention of current presidential candidates.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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