Written by Justin Satire
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Thursday, 30 October 2008

image for Accidental Invasion - An Alarming New Trend?
The Boy Scouts of Liechtenstein prepare to defend their borders

Alarmed by recent incursions into 'Bad Guy' countries by 'Good Guy' forces, officials in the tiny European country of Liechtenstein today announced new security measures in response to the "accidental invasion" last year by its closest neighbor, Switzerland.

In March of last year, the Swiss army deployed an armed battalion of soldiers to march on this tiny European nation that has a population of 34,000 and no standing army. This "brazen act of bullying" immediately led the international community to re-evaluate ties with their neighbors.

The initial response by Swiss authorities to international outcry was reported to be, "Get lost!", although they later rescinded that comment and reported that their soldiers "got lost" during routine operations and just happened to end up invading the country.

Disconcerted by what is seen as an alarming new trend, leaders world-wide have expressed support and concern for countries that are "too small to be easily noticed on the map", while many countries whose names end with stan are considering similar security moves to protect themselves in the event of "world-map confusion".

The UN has warned Switzerland that members are now aware that Liechtenstein is not an ink-blot, and are keeping a close eye out for any future signs of potential accidental invasion.

Meanwhile, Republican presidential candidate John McCain has substituted the word "war" with the term, "accidental invasion" in the last few days of campaigning before the election in the hopes of distancing himself from President Bush and McCain's controversial support of his decision to go to war in Iraq.

Hans Fommer-Schulemeister, a retired school teacher who heads up "Vatchoutfurzem" (Liechtenstein's equivalent of Homeland Security) was interviewed for this article:

"Accidental, my lederhosen! Zehr is no such thing! How can you go marching across international borders, invade a country zat has no quarrel with you, and not hold urself accountable?"

The Boy Scouts of Liechtenstein, who have been patrolling the borders since Switzerland's military aggression last year, plan to immediately implement the new security measures, which will include the digging of a ditch along the border between the two countries "deep enough and wide enough to prevent future potential accidental invasions".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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