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Monday, 27 October 2008

image for New word "gokwan" accepted by Oxford English Dictionary
Mr G. Wann of Shanghai is less than impressed

A new word, with several meanings, has today been accepted by the Oxford English Dictionary. Submitted by the British Male Public, the word "Gokwan" was admitted to the hallowed pages of the biggest, brightest and heaviest dictionary in the world.

"Gokwan" was accepted on the basis of being the first word ever in the English language to have so many multiple meanings and usages, all relating to uselessness and rubbish.

As an example, "Gokwan" can mean 'prat', 'nuisance', 'annoyance', 'nerd'. In context, "Read Jade Goody's autobiography? You must think I'm a right Gokwan".

An alternative use is "I had a vindaloo and 8 pints of lager last night, and it didn't half make me gokwan".

Yet another use can be "As the waste solution arrives in the sewerage plant, it tends to be full of gokwan."

Also "Yes Kevin, you may have reached puberty, but please don't waste my Kleenex tissues if must have a gokwan."

There are many more usages of this fabulous, new, utilitarian word, limited only by the imagination. Or even the intervention of household irritants Trinnikle and Suzamammamia.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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